How to Travel With a Salmon & Other Essays (Paperback)

Preface
How to Travel with a Salmon
How to Replace a Driver's License
How to Eat in Flight
How to Go Through Customs
How to Travel on American Trains
How to Take Intelligent Vacations
How to Use the Taxi Driver
How Not to Talk about Soccer
How to Use the Coffeepot from Hell
How to React to Familiar Faces
How to Be a TV Host
How Not to Know the Time
Stars and Stripes
Conversation in Babylon
On the Impossibility of Drawing a Map of the Empire on a Scale of 1 to 1
How to Eat Ice Cream
How It Begins, and How It Ends
How to Justify a Private Library
How to Compile an Inventory
How to Spend Time
How to Buy Gadgets
How to Follow Instructions
How to Become a Knight of Malta
How to Deal with Telegrams
How Not to Use the Fax Machine
How Not to Use the Cellular Phone
Three Owls on a Chest of Drawers
Editorial Revision
Sequels
How to Use Suspension Points
How to Write an Introduction
How to Write an Introduction to an Art Catalogue
How to Set the Record Straight
How to Watch Out for Widows
How to Organize a Public Library
How to Speak of Animals
How to Play Indians
How to Recognize a Porn Movie
How to Avoid Contagious Diseases
How to Choose a Remunerative Profession
The Miracle of San Baudolino