그대는 할말을 어디에 두고 왔는가

개정판 서문 ···························· 4
초판 추천사 ···························· 6

001―이름 없는 나날들 ······················ 15
002―마당 있는 집 ························ 16
003―동화라구요? ························ 17
004―정원사의 영혼 ······················· 18
005―꽃밥 ··························· 19
006―막걸리 속의 꽃잎 ······················ 20
007―가네쉬의 코끼리 머리 ···················· 21
008―작은 사람 ························· 22
009―늙은 학생 ························· 24
010―입맛 ··························· 26
011―썩어가는 쇠고기, 찢긴 인형 ·················· 27
012―대구 촌놈, 코스모폴리탄 ··················· 28
013―노란 잠수함 ························ 30
014―아픈가, 우리는?······················· 31
015―오래된 허기 ························ 32

첫번째 편지 : 베트남 요리책―이문재 시인에게 ··············· 33

016―시커먼 내 속 ························ 43
017―노새 이야기 ························ 44
018―증기 기관을 와트의 아버지가 아니라 와트가 발명한 까닭······ 46
019―묘비 없는 묘비명 ······················ 47
020―내 속의 또다른 나 ······················ 48
021―살아 있는 도서관 ······················ 50
022―이건 죽고 사는 문젠데 ···················· 51
023―가소로운 욕심 ······················· 52
024―베를린 시장 ························ 54
025―누구도 아님의 장미 ····················· 55
026―소녀 전사 ························· 56
027―종교의 중립성 ······················· 57
028―점심 비빔밥 ························ 58
029―별들은 ·························· 59
030―어두움, 사무침 ······················· 60

두번째 편지 : 수메르어를 배우는 시간―차창룡 시인에게 ··········· 61

031―비단집 ·························· 70
032―곰이 또 실수를 했나?····················· 71
033―처음 본 죽음 ························ 72
034―내가 날씨에 따라서 변하는 사람 같냐구요?············ 74
035―마음속의 등불 ······················· 76
036―축제 ··························· 77
037―단풍 ··························· 78
038―지구는 둥글다 ······················· 79
039―냉전 시대, 복제 인간····················· 80
040―욕지기 ·························· 82
041―날틀 ··························· 83
042―우리 모두는 ························ 84
043―북경오리 만드는 법 ····················· 85
044―살아가는 조건을 밝히는 숫자 ················· 86
045―간 먹는 계모 ························ 88

세번째 편지 : 발굴을 하면서 빛에 대하여 생각하기―김지하 선생님께 ······ 89

046―가족계획 실천 마을 ····················· 99
047―품종 개량························· 100
048―평화주의자 ························ 101
049―새장 ··························· 102
050―오스턴 ·························· 104
051―상처의 어두움 ······················· 106
052―불안한 날························· 107
053―모든 것의 시작을 좇는 자 ·················· 108
054―예쁜 뒤꼭지 ························ 109
055―진흙 개·························· 110
056―어이, 탑골이야······················· 112
057―잡초를 위하여 ······················· 114
058―호박잎 바나나잎 ······················ 116
059―울고 있는 마리아······················ 117
060―엘람인들의 비둘기국 ···················· 118

네번째 편지 : 종 모양의 토기, 그리고 과거를 바라보기, 아니 지나간 시간을
소처럼 우물거리기, 벗들을 그리워하기―주인석 벗에게·········· 119

061―하늘길, 지상길······················· 127
062―거품의 눈물 ························ 128
063―목장우유 ························· 129
064―사라의 집························· 130
065―고마웠다, 그 생의 어떤 시간 ················· 131
066―문화인 ·························· 132
067―하마 이야기 ························ 133
068―고추 말리는 마을······················ 134
069―목마름 ·························· 135
070―나는 단 한 번도 ······················ 136
071―새의 풍장························· 138
072―죽음을 맞이하는 힘····················· 139
073―호상 ··························· 140
074―인생? ·························· 142
075―호머 심슨의 세계······················ 144

다섯번째 편지 : 킬링 슈트라세, 양파 썩는 냄새가 나던 집 ········· 145

076―에어리어 51························ 164
077―부정 ··························· 165
078―광우병 ·························· 166
079―누워서 바다를 지나가기 ··················· 168
080―내 친구 히틀러? ······················ 170
081―원자력 발전소를 지나며 ··················· 171
082―끓인 맥주························· 172
083―목련꽃 그늘에 누워····················· 173
084―이 지상의 집값······················· 174
085―이른 봄 음식 ······················· 176
086―말, 말 ·························· 178
087―산지기의 집 ························ 180
088―전쟁과 졸업 ························ 182
089―그것 ··························· 184
090―지극한 마음 ························ 185

여섯번째 편지 : 기숙사의 봄을 맞으며 떠나올 때를 생각하기,
혹은 아직 낯선 곳에 머물고 있는 이유를 생각하기―혜경에게······· 187

091―무소식 ·························· 194
092―팥죽 이별························· 195
093―유등놀이 ························· 196
094―피냄새 나는 이름들····················· 198
095―살기 좋은 곳 ······················· 200
096―옛날이 가지 않는 이름 ··················· 202
097―건조한 초원 지역의 목화밭·················· 204
098―독재자 ·························· 205
099―어느 측량사의 여행 가방 ·················· 206
100―전갈에게 물린 남자····················· 208
101―결정적인 순간을 앞에 두고 도망치기·············· 211
102―동백꽃 ·························· 212
103―공부할 만한 사람······················ 213
104―중세의 조건 ························ 214
105―보기에 민망하다, 고 느끼는 나는? ··············· 216

일곱번째 편지 : 난쉐와 그 여신이 보호했던 많은 이를 위하여 ······· 217

106―한 달 생활비 ······················· 226
107―인간이 점치지 못하는 일 ·················· 227
108―옛 동독 지방에서는 지금 무슨 일이 일어나고 있을까? ······· 228
109―칠성사이다 ························ 229
110―물고기떡 ························· 230
111―환한 멸치볶음 ······················· 232
112―한국 식품점 ························ 233
113―개를 데리고 다니는 사람 ·················· 234
114―도라지꽃 ························· 236
115―동생 ··························· 237
116―크리스마스 저녁 ······················ 238
117―거울을 바라보기 ······················ 239
118―미라 ··························· 240
119―아들과 아버지 ······················· 242
120―압살라 ·························· 243

여덟번째 편지 : 잊음을 위한 권유··················· 245

121―그러던 시절 ························ 255
122―어머니의 보통학교 동창회 ·················· 256
123―교양 부족························· 258
124―호적 등본························· 260
125―나를 위해서만 사는 삶 ··················· 261
126―그 사랑 노래 ······················· 262
127―길모퉁이의 중국 식당···················· 264
128―생선 ··························· 265
129―정선 아리랑 ························ 266
130―아직도 아가인 사람의 마음 냄새 ··············· 268
131―울산바위 ························· 269
132―쓰레기 고고학 ······················· 270
133―사진 한 장 ························ 272
134―청금석 ·························· 274
135―통일 후·························· 276

아홉번째 편지 : 이방에서 낯선 사람들을 바라보기, 친해지기,
마음속으로 들어앉히기 ····················· 279

136―베두인의 치즈 ······················· 302
137―내 마음속의 시장······················ 304
138―바론 호텔························· 306
139―우울했던 소녀 ······················· 308

발문 가장자리에서부터 종이가 울었습니다―수경 선배에게┃박준(시인) ···· 311

밤에 마당에 서 있으면 흰 꽃들이 보인다. 어둠 속에서 꽃은 희게 빛난다. 문득 하늘을 본다. 하늘길 위를 비행기가 엉금엉금 걸어가고 있다. 하늘이 길인 것이다. 땅만큼 길인 것이다. 언젠가 하늘길을 다시 밟을 때 어둠 속에서 이 흰 꽃들을 다시 보았으면 좋겠다. 사무치는 빛. 그러면 하늘길을 돌아 지상의 길로 돌아올 수 있을 것 같기에…… 하늘에 묻힐 수는 없는 일 아닌가.
―「하늘길, 지상길」 전문

그때, 나는 묻는다. 왜 너는 나에게 그렇게 차가웠는가. 그러면 너는 나에게 물을 것이다. 그때, 너는 왜 나에게 그렇게 뜨거웠는가. 서로 차갑거나 뜨겁거나, 그때 서로 어긋나거나 만나거나 안거나 뒹굴거나 그럴 때, 서로의 가슴이 이를테면 사슴처럼 저 너른 우주의 밭을 돌아 서로에게로 갈 때, 차갑거나 뜨겁거나 그럴 때, 미워하거나 사랑하거나 그럴 때, 나는 내가 태어나서 어떤 시간을 느낄 수 있었던 것만이 고맙다.
―「고마웠다, 그 생애의 어떤 시간」 전문

만일 서울에서 계속 살았더라면, 이 많은 이야기를 나는 친구들에게 했을 것이다.